Proud to be a Theta Mom

We will return to regularly scheduled posting tomorrow with some hilarious stories from my trip, but today The McGlothin Family Nest is linking up with Theta Mom.  What, you've never heard of Heather at Theta Mom?  Shame on you.  Go check her out and come right back!
 
She is celebrating her first blogoversarry, and said "So to begin the festivities, I am going to draft one of the BEST posts I’ve ever written and I challenge you to do the same by answering one simple question… What makes you a Theta Mom?"

I want to tell you about the day I became a Theta Mom, or maybe when I realized I was a Theta Mom?  Well, that's easy.  June 16, 2007.  My wedding day.

I can tell you that my life changed when I became a mom.  And I wasn't her "real" mom.  The day I married Luke, I began to have nightmares about leaving Bella at the mall or giving her something she was allergic to.  I didn't carry this child for nine months.  I did not bring her into this world.  Yet, somehow I was going to play the mother figure to her while she was with her Dad and I.

I was always good with kids, I was a camp counselor, a swim teach coach and even a nanny.  But this was different.  I wouldn't be giving this kid back to her parents, I was her parent, even if I am a step-parent.  (Have I mentioned how much I hate the word step-parent or half-sister?  Family is family is family. Period.) 

And as scared as I was (and if you know me, you are nodding your head because I was terrified), something clicked.  I suddenly had this calm around me (aka God, although at the time I didn't know it) and everything came so naturally.  The over-controlling person inside my body suddenly gave sprinkles to a three year little girl and told her to "go to town."  What?  Who is that person and where is Gini?  Well, Gini was gone and Momma Gigi stood in her place.

I was different.  My life was different.  I had new priorities and they did not include cocktails or slinky shirts.  I found that it's only necessary to see 3 o'clock once a day, and that's when it's light outside.  And I knew that I never wanted to change again.  This new person, this mom, is who I was meant to be.

Saying good-bye to her that first summer (when I was home with her by myself during the day for six weeks in between graduation and my first real job) was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I felt like a kid that had been playing house, and my parents were here to pick me up from daycare, and my imaginary babies would have to wait in their plastic highchairs until I returned the following day.  I felt like someone had ripped my heart out.

Our table of three had now become a table of two.  We were newlyweds sleeping together for the first time without our girl in between.  Our bed felt empty.  Our apartment felt empty.  Our lives felt empty.  We had to accept that this was reality, and that we would feel empty for six months until she returned for Christmas.

That summer, I knew I was a Theta Mom.  I knew I wasn't like any type of mom in particular.  I knew I had to juggle life with and without my sweet Bella.  At the time, I figured Luke and I would have children of our own, but that didn't matter right away.  My focus was on being the best Momma Gigi I could be.  The most kind, loving, generous, compassionate, thoughtful Momma Gigi I could be. 

I also know that I will never be Bella's "real mom," and that's okay with me.  She is someone that I do not agree with and rarely get along with, but she is also someone that I thank God for every day.  Because without her, I wouldn't have this...

And Claire wouldn't have this...

That's my story of when I knew I was a Theta Mom.  Be sure to visit Theta Mom and see all of the other great posts this week!